12 in 2015

See ya, 2014!

Another year has come and gone. Christmas brought much needed re-connection with family. In a few shorts months it will be spring again. Life will be brought back from the seemingly dormant earth. It's a time to leave behind was not meant for us and move into the beautiful possibilities that are available to us.

I don't do New Year's resolutions - it is too reminiscent of punishment or some sense of unworthiness to me. I liken the feeling to that I had in confession as a child - the focus on how "bad" we are does not inspire change, but rather sets us up for failure. 

This year I will be doing something different. I will be choosing 12 experiences I'd like to have. It's so easy for me to get caught up in the "shoulds" of life. As a single parent I tend to focus more on responsibility rather than fun. We get to create so much of our lives - and most of us have an abundant supply of choices even within certain restrictions (whether they be financial, physical or emotional). So this year, I will be making a list of things I'd like to add to my human experience.  Some are small and easily accomplished. Others will require slightly more effort.  All are intended to create memories, celebrate, connect or simply to enjoy.

My list of 12 "Things," in no particularly order, for 2015:

• Ride a horse.

• Visit the Olympus Day Spa, also known as naked town (no, no it's not).

• Follow an actual sewing pattern.

• Take my daughter to the Oregon Coast.

• Host a random White Elephant party.

• Host a charity curry night to raise funds for a yet named charity.

• Establish a neighborhood Food Program where spring and summer garden abundance is delivered to the food bank weekly.

• Read the Marilyn Monroe Biography I've had on my list for years. It's not higher learning, but her life is fascinating.  Most of the books I read tend to be learning oriented, so something just for pleasure needs to happen!

• Host a sushi night.

• Sign up for a pottery class.

• Sign up for a belly dance or tap class, or some other movement class sure to make me look a fool.

• Wild card! That's right, I'm open to suggestions!

Some of these may not seem like the most frugal activities, but frugality as I see it, is not about deprivation, but rather putting your money where it gives you the the most value.  Money is meant to provide necessities, yes, but quality and value with vary from person to person.  Focusing on experiences, rather than stuff is my goal.  It is so easy to put your mental energy towards "getting the best deal" and while that certainly CAN be a part of the frugal and simple life, it can also play into consumerism in a big way. 

Who's with me for the 12 in 2015? Please share in the comments some of your 12!

I Will Not Waste Another Damn Piece of Food

Even during my lean times, when I didn't have money for new clothes or books, when I bought all my daughter and my clothes and shoes and gifts at garage sales. When I couponed like crazy and washed my hair with baking soda. When I made nearly everything by scratch (which seems like a dream now...never discount the luxury of time), I never went hungry.  My daughter never went hungry.  We always had enough.

I could pay the rent and the heating bill, and while it was a small budget for food, we made do. We always had enough. Enough.  Enough. Enough.  Saying it a few times and even the word itself sounds full. 

If ever there came a time when money was too tight, I could always borrow money or food from my family if it came to that.  I was lucky it didn't.  There was always enough. Now I was resourceful, I'll give you that.  I knew how to budget, the basics of cooking, and I didn't have champagne tastes (or if I did I could handle not having my heart's desire).  I had enough money to build a good pantry for cooking staples.  I watched every penny because if I didn't spend them wisely, there wouldn't be enough.  

I was raising a child on less than $20,000/year for a time in a high cost of living area and do you know how lucky I was to have the resources of a supportive family and friends, the ability to cook and to budget, and if I had ever felt I had needed them, the ability to contact a social service agency? I had safety nets. Plural.  I had enough. 

I wasn't a moocher.  I wasn't afraid of work.  I was a single mother with a small child trying to make the best decisions for my kid. I couldn't have afforded full time day care and living in an apartment.  I was able to get a low paying job as a nanny and bring my daughter to work with me.  That along with child support covered our needs. 

Now I'm more comfortable financially. Not rich, not even close, but comfortable.  Continually adding to my savings is of paramount importance.  I'ts another important safety net that I have had to use, and even live off of at times. Thank god for that.

I've been reading a lot more about hunger and food politics lately.  Those topics that are easy to slip by when you have enough. The punishment of the poor.  The hardworking poor who are no better or worse as people, just people like me doing there best to get by - often in worse circumstances than I ever was. There are people going hungry in this world.  Not just in underdeveloped countries far away, but in cities like mine. 

Every broccoli crown I've tossed in the trash, every lonely apricot that's rolled to the back of the fridge until it's unrecognizable...It makes me sick to think about the amount of food I've wasted.  Not only because it's like ripping up money and throwing it into the toilet, but I feel it's a slap in the face to every person who went to bed hungry last night.

I've had enough.  I will not waste another damn piece of food if I can help it. 


This week's no-waste fare so far: 

Overripe plums became a delicious base for Moroccan chicken and vegetables.

Not quite right lemon rice became sweet kefir lemon and apricot rice pudding. 

Roasted potatoes that needed eating went into a Spanish Tortilla.

Garden Delights and Wise Words from John Updike

My only potatoes of the season, some zucchini, purple beans, and the last of the snap peas.

The garden is full of delights this time of year.  Some things, like lettuce and snap peas which burst onto the scene with reckless abandon, have drifted off into a slumber in the summer heat.

Still growing like mad are zucchini, cucumbers, purslane, kale, tomatoes, carrots and pumpkins.  I've probably got at least 30 pumpkins growing at the moment and I'm hoping there will be enough for the neighborhood and family kids to all get one for Halloween this year.

Just three pumpkin seeds in a little mound of dirt is all it took this year,  The bees have been busy pollinating the large blossoms. 

I had not anticipated the success of the pumpkin patch this year!

While I can't always count on her help in the garden (except for the harvesting part!) my daughter loves to make "fairy houses."  She will spend considerable time on making these homes pleasant for the fairies of her dreams.  Sometimes the fairies leave little gifts.

It might be hard to see, but this has everything a fairy might need!

So much growth and so much wonder takes place in the garden.  Lessons are learned in both patience and acceptance.  What becomes merely a memory of hard work, gives so much in the growth of plants.  That is, until it is time to work again.  The time in the garden rarely does feel like actual work to me for some reason.  Even sore muscles and sweat translate into joy.

Here is a poem I love from John Updike about hoeing in the garden. 

Hoeing

I sometimes fear the younger generation will be deprived 

of the pleasures of hoeing;

there is no knowing

how many souls have been formed by this simple exercise. 


The dry earth like a great scab breaks,

revealing moist-dark loam--

the pea-root's home,

a fertile wound perpetually healing.


How neatly the green weeds go under!

The blade chops the earth new.

Ignorant the wise boy who

has never performed this simple, stupid, and useful wonder.


~John Updike

When Too Much Feels Like Not Enough

Let me set the scene: it's your child's fifth birthday. Streamers hang from the ceilings, balloons abound, and the smell of a (unicorn or Star Wars) cake fills the air.

Kids start to arrive. Each with a pretty wrapped box or gift bag.

“Where should I put this?” Little Sarah asks. “Right over there honey.” You reply as you point Sarah in the direction of a pile of gifts the size of a Toyota Camry.

After the fun and games little Bobby sits down to open his gifts. It takes almost an hour.

By the time the guests leave Bobby is half way into his sugar coma, and gifts are everywhere (if you haven't hosted a birthday party recently, just replace the word birthday with Christmas). 

Then, a month later, this happens:
“I'm bored.” Or, better yet, “Can we go to the store and get <insert toy item here>?” As you sigh in polite disgust over the excess.  “Go play with one of your toys from your birthday” you suggest. Crickets.

Not quite a year later as you are going through Bobby's toys for a garage sale you see many things that he's never played with, or many things that were played with only once or twice. The toys are overwhelming the room and he seems relieved as he graciously gives them up to the garage sale (with the money he can buy new exciting toys that he will never tire of, cough cough).

Now let’s look at you and I and our version of toys: clothes, or make-up or whatever it is that gives you that little post shopping buzz. But for the sake of discussion, we’ll focus on clothes. My guess is that most of us have a minimum of 20 shirts. Some, but not all, necessary.

We have an “I’m bored, there’s nothing to play with” equivalent. It’s called: I have nothing to wear.

At what point does too much stuff make us feel like we don't have enough? Are we attracted to the acquisition? The little high we get when we make a purchase or receive a toy. Or maybe it's something else. Maybe we can't even tell what we have when we have too many options. What do I choose to wear or play with when I have pretty much everything? It’s so easy to be overwhelmed when we have so much stuff we can’t even see what we have.

Now this is not a criticism of birthday parties or shopping, but rather an examination of the byproducts of Western affluence.  Sometimes it’s important to look at it and question, what really makes me happy? How much is enough? And when does too much make it seem like “not enough?”

And this is part of why I’ve chosen to take steps to simplify. Not out of moral superiority or jumping on a bandwagon, but like many of you, I have found that when I have less to choose from, I see things more clearly. I am less likely overwhelmed with choice (Which has become somewhat of a modern day illness in my opinion). I'm calmer. I'm happier. I'm less cranky. And that's "enough" of a reason.